ya write dumb songs about yer job like:

 

When yer payin high bills and still shiverin chills,

Or yer house is smellin moldy

And yer kids are coughin' coldy-

Don't call the doctor,

Doh-ho-ho-hon't call the lawyer -

The help you need will come from yer flowyer!

 

We manometer yer castle

With very little hassle -

And seek out sneaky leakers

That slime like sweaty sneakers.

 

We make sure that nasty gasses are going out the proper passes.

For yer comfort and health - the only real wealth -

We see clear through the air you are -

We see clear through the air.

 

 

 

 

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Air We Are (second verse)

 

Livin' with the toxins -

Suckin' in the fumes,

Tightnin' up our houses

Can bring breathing deep and doom.

 

In concentration camps for poison

Two thousand years ahead,

Did we all get NUTHIN

From those Roman pipes of lead?

 

In concentration camps for poison

Two thousand years ahead,

Did we learn our lesson

From the Roman pipes of LEAD??

 

(Chorus) We manometer yer castle...

Worst Case Depressurization Song

 

I have heard the houses

Through my meters that are shouting:

"Certain DEATH (!) will soon be spouting

Up the flue or DOWN the stack."

 

An' by just checkin' out the pressures

Room-by-room we change composure

Of the total household picture

With all the fans on to the max.

 

Finally fire off the furnace

And lastly light the water heater

And watch in rapt amazement at the flickings of a meter -

Take a deep breath and relax!

 

Cuz then ya know fer certain

That, even if yer house is flirtin with disaster - makin' nasty gasses while it's breathin' harder and faster-

When it's pantin' - even heavin'- that it can't come even close

To draftin' back those nasty gasses that could make ya pass and pay yer taxes.

Nice, Joseph.  Where's the sheet music?  I need to figure out the tune on my mandolin, guitar, fiddle before the next energy conference.

Thanks Dale. No written music. I'm a 3-chords-and-the-TRUTH sort of songwriter. BUT if one had the ability to put the music down on paper and share it, or even to hook up at some ACI or Energy Out West or something, it would totally make my day, er night, whatever.

I have a bunch of songs that grew from doing energy audits and then playing my Martin D-35 while she and I were still together. Now I play a beat-up Takamini,and I miss the mellow warmth of the Martin. She inspired me.

Now let's plan on a maybe conference and meet up and make it happen. Color me flexible; right now it's E and A and B7 with a few excursions into C# mi, G# mi, G#7, F#7 and F# mi. But again, flexibility and quick deferment to superior musicality are my standards! Cut loose anyway you like to...Mi song es su song, amigo.

As long as we get the Energy Wright, I'll be happy with how she comes out! Jim Fitzgerald liked it back in '94 and read it boldly aloud like it was Edgar Allen Poe on the airplane home from AC in Chicago. That made my day!

You might be an energy auditor if you ever forget this.

 

There are three kinds of people in this world; Those that can add and those that can't..

HaHaHa, Hal, you're good.

Last week I posted a thing about Black and White 'thermography' where a lady burned candles in her home. The soot stuck to where the condensation had formed (under the ceiling joists near/against the sidewalls and a few 'air-brushed' paths between them where a missing baffle had allowed wind-washing of heat from out of the insulation).

 

What gets me is how COOL this recognition was, that it was done with a candle and it absolutely identified a thermal anomaly that weatherization gurus like us should have reveled in discovering. BUTT, nobody gave a hoot. Am I nuts, or is this candle app particlarly (!!:)) extraordinary?? It was a Black and White thermograph - old-timey yes, but as accurate as any $10,000 infrared camera, it was in plain sight for us who have the eyes to see, and it clearly told the truth about the thermal failures occurring the other side of the sheetrock! I am flabbergasted nobody responded.

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